Updates galore!

Where do I even begin? Again and again, each time I get into the momentum of actually blogging, I get distracted by other things like my kids, or even a new job, and even topics that go off tangent like my cravings for dark chocolate cake at the moment..

Okay, okay. So it has been a while! And before you know it, it is the end of 2018!

Alhamdulillah, I have reached yet another milestone. 1) Managed to raise 2 kids and stay as sane as possible, 2) my husband and I also rode different types of waves together, and made it back to shore without breaking the surf board. Indeed, am truly thankful for all the things that 2018 has taught my family and I.

For that, I shall celebrate by treating myself to a keyboard fest.

I apologise in advance for this lengthy post, but these updates will go in reverse chronological order – with the most recent experiences first.

Here goes..

November 2018

My second born turned 1! At 11 kilograms, he is the fluffiest baby ever – I kid you not!

However, he is a little slower physically due to his weight. Like, he took a while to learn how to crawl or even cruise along furniture; and it also took a lot of effort for us to get him to accept solid foods and even now, he is still as picky as ever. Thankfully, since he turned 1, he has been able to crawl fully and fast enough for you to lose him if you’re trying to get him from scooting off! He’s also great at walking a couple of steps with our full support, and is a pretty loud baby.

He’s pretty chill most of the time, but when he’s upset.. His screams could shake the walls!

Yupp, that’s him when he wants our attention!

We also had a mini celebration for our fluffy Musta’in, together with our immediate family and close friends, to celebrate his single digit age!

Just look at the qtie’s face!

A week prior to that, Hubs had his FA Cup Finals over at Jalan Besar stadium. The atmosphere was craaaaaazy, as Yishun Sentek Mariners FC went against Tiong Bahru FC. Hubs played for YSMFC and worked hard during their game against SAFSA before finally getting to the finals. They worked even harder during the finals with TB and clinched their first championship title everrrrr!

Congratulations, boys!

Anyway, I have been super snowed under with my boss wanting me to take on an additional role.. OH WAIT. Have I told you that I now have a new job? I don’t think I ever did talk about work on my blog. But, if you follow me on other social media platforms, you would know that I left UWC. I left shortly after I came back from my Maternity Leave, as I accepted a job offer at an international preschool.

I was with UWC for about 2 years (ish?) and that was more than enough. People have constantly asked me why because true enough, I was in a job that paid me rather well. The benefits were great, and the hours were good and in general, the place wasn’t so bad at all. My colleagues turned friends were (and still are) really nice people, my superior was not too bad, the environment was bearable (I think it’s only because I can filter bullshit very well).

But you know when something is just not your cup of tea? And the only thing that ties you down and makes you stay as long as you have are the monetary benefits?

That was me while I was there.

I was happy at work as I had people I could call friends, but I didn’t feel like I achieved anything while I was there. Day by day, I was doing the same, repetitive things again and again to a point where I just got plain lazy? I am someone who gets really bored pretty easily, and that wasn’t the kind of thing I could be doing for a long time.

So when I received an offer for a PA position at an international preschool in the East end (I know) of Singapore, I accepted it immediately. However, not long after, I received an offer for another role closer to home. It was something that came out of the blue, and it was the next best option for me at that time. I wouldn’t say it pays better. In fact, I actually took a $200 pay cut for this job.

BUT…

The hours and the flexibility make up for that monetary loss. During the interview, I was asked this question at the end: What motivates you to get up to work every day? And my answer was: My kids. The interviewer, who smiled and nodded while mouthing “me too”,  is thankfully my boss today. 🙂

He has been so flexible when it came to issues pertaining to my kids or school.

Alhamdulillah, really.

Oh, so school? Yup – believe it or not, I’ve just signed a death contract for late night studying and decided to pursue with a local Specialist Dip in Business (Human Capital) at SP. Crazy, right? I haven’t gone to school for 8 years now, and to be studying part-time while working and mum-ing and wife-ing is just… Crazy?

But, goodness.. Subhanallah, amazed at how I can even manage. It has been 3 months now and as I look back at how I pulled through the first semester studying for tests and completing essays and assignments, I am extremely proud of myself. Although it is only the first semester, but managing it with 2 kids and a husband is beyond belief.

Thankful for the people He let me meet in my struggles – syukur.

I was skeptical at first, as this would only mean I had lesser time with the kids. But taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture, the end of the road would be worthwhile for my family and I. Insya Allah.

Please make a little du’aa for my little family. ♥

I also recently went on a Bangkok trip with Mum and Iffah – the sole purpose of the trip was to shop and that was what we did the whole 4 days there. I’m so happy I managed to drag 15KG of foreign loots back to SG, without busting my budget. Among my favorite loots were the EOs and balms I managed to grab from Chatuchak, as well as the bundle of clothes I bargained for the boys.

It was also the first time I went on a trip (away for more than 24 hours) without my husband and the kids. It felt good, but lonely at some point. I appreciated the freedom and space, of course – but missed them every second I was there.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do this again.

All in all, the past 6 months have been nothing short of amazing – with new adventures, new friends made, new experiences gained, and many more. I might be naughty and shy away from blogging for a while now.

Insya Allah, I’ll be back soon.

Meanwhile, see you on IG (@deexwong) to get latest updates on my cheeky children!

Confession

This is the first time I’m ever coming out with the truth. I’ve been reading articles about bullying and it’s my first time coming out and being honest about this.

I grew up being a victim of bullying.

As early as in my Primary school years, I have been constantly bullied by people whom I only wanted to be friends with. Perhaps I tried too hard? I do not know. But during that time, I was the only girl who was dating someone in the school. In fact, he was one of the most good-looking guys that ever existed at that time.

For some reason, the girls hated me. They called me names and ostracised me. Subhanallah. I went home crying most days. I felt lonely. I felt scared. But I still wanted to go to school because that was the only time I got to see my then-boyfriend (HAHA YA LUH, too kental to hang out out of school hours that’s why he broke up with me). I literally had only 3 friends who were really there for me, despite the rest, and I will always remember who they are.

I naturally take some time to warm up to girls and have always been more comfortable around boys. I guess that’s the reason why the girls disliked me and ostracised me. Masya Allah. Things got worse when I was appointed Head Prefect of the school for 2 full years. It was a few years of terror, being there as the pioneer batch of that school. I amazingly survived, though. I graduated with a great PSLE score and got myself into one of the top schools.

Trouble didn’t end for me because I ended up being in a relationship with someone from an elite school nearby. Don’t ask me how it happened, it just did. And on top of all that, a miscommunication happened and a strange rumor started that I had lied about something. Nobody even bothered to check back with me on what actually happened, and the cool clan of Malays hated me. Like, really hated me. I have no idea what went on behind my back but they openly called me a liar and used terms like “puki longgar” just because (I think) I hung around boys. To think I got myself into a good school – HURHUR.

I suffered 2yrs of tormenting and name-calling and occasional cyber-bullying until things picked up when we got to Secondary 3, where I made new friends – one of them being my best friend ever since.

I lost some of the girl friends I made but the one guy who stuck by me up till today, is family. He is such an amazing and trustworthy person, that my husband sends me off whenever he comes to pick me up to hang out with him.

Anyway, we survived. I graduated with a great score to get me into Poly, but I chose to go to ITE instead. Why? Because I wanted to have a taste of Music and the Arts. I wouldn’t be able to do that if I went into poly because it would mean full-time Hijab for me.

Zaman jahil, sisthursssss – please don’t judge.

But I must say, it was the best place ever. I got into a lead role in a Musical, I got to perform at places like the Esplanade, I got the honour of being a back-up singer to Zubir Abdullah at his concert. Masya Allah – all that was such an experience I’d never trade anything for. Also, it seemed like no one bullied no one, no one called no one names, everyone knew everyone, everyone was willing to help everyone, and everyone hung out with everyone. It was possibly the best 2 years of any prior school life I had.

I didn’t graduate, though, as I suffered attendance problems since I was heavily involved in the Arts and wasn’t performing in my studies at all. I gave up and went to try the A-level route but figured that I was not cut out for it. It was too much to handle, hence, it didn’t last for very long. But I made great friends there, who are my friends today too! Alhamdulillah, the experience was great while it lasted!

And then I went to take my Private Diploma at a Private institution. Again, I became a victim of bullying. One of the plus-sized girls in the class got a few other girls to gang up on me and ostracise me. For what reason? I honestly have no idea as I really couldn’t be bothered to thrash it out. She had her little minions call me names like “Bird” (she said I look like a bird) and would make chirping sounds every time I came up to present anything. She would openly make comments about me to degrade me, especially about my body. It is sad to say that I didn’t do very well for my Diploma because of that experience. I did not have much support to begin with. The boys in the class were great but I tried to be friends with the girls instead, though they weren’t very helpful while I was being bullied. One of the boys did speak up for me and motivated me that things will get better, but how much can one single person do? Not much at all, really. I guess I got used to it after some years. Besides, it was a 10-month course so I did what I could that was enough to pull me through and graduate with a certificate.

That, my friends, is my sob story and confession of how I survived being a victim of bullying. It feels good to come out and say that I survived bullying. And looking at where I am today, I can only say ALHAMDULILLAH.

The one good thing in common that I see from those experiences is the fact that I never got into any form of depression, despite getting my candle blown out through the years; again and again and again. I am very grateful to have had a strong base to believe that He is always there for me. I kept myself close to Him and thankfully, I came out this strong.

I have always forgiven the people who were part of the shaming and bullying, but I just want to say something: It was okay if you disliked me, it felt okay even if it was for no reason at all. But it was not okay when you disrespected me, degraded me, and humiliated me – especially in front of an audience. It was not okay when you called me names, made fun of me and then laughed at me just to make yourself feel good. I’m sorry if I have ever triggered you to start the bullying for any reason, but I just want you to know that it hurt. I didn’t show it, but it did. I hope you realise that by now.

Till we meet again. ☺️