With every hardship comes ease, they say. Indeed, that was the case for my family and I. After our terrible experience with our first helper, I was most scarred. I refused to employ any form of help after I decided to ship her back, until I had a heart-to-heart talk with my mum and a few friends.
They all told me that not all helpers are manipulative, abusive liars (I’m sorry, but that was how I perceived her after what she has done). They all gave me good stories of their good helpers, who were actually a great help. My mum took the time to lay out the pros of me having a helper. Because she knows that I am naturally just so lembek, I would need the extra pair of hands around my household. And of course, her list of the advantages drilled all my senses back – I actually forgot that Hubs will be going back to school and I will need to manage both boys by myself 3 nights a week!
So, a week prior to the date I decided to ship her back (without her knowledge), Hubs and I decided to make a trip down to the agency to interview a few helpers. Before that, I listed down my requirements to my very helpful agent (who gave Bibik #1 an earful when we brought her to the agency and suggested we send her back) and when we arrived, she had Skype ready for us.
We happened to interview my current helper first, and I didn’t have any feel about her, to be honest. No, actually, I didn’t have any feel about any of the ones we interviewed. We interviewed only 3 helpers after her. Because I wanted one from East Java, we didn’t have many to choose from. Some of the helpers had a really kind face, but I was adamant against having one from West Java.
After we interviewed all the available ones, my husband said: I think the first one is good, babe. WOAH, HOLD YOUR HORSES – my husband actually talks! Haha. Okay, wait – that was really something new. Dude does not, and I really mean DOES NOT, make these sort of decisions – not once, not ever. He’ll always go: “Sukati you, ah.” (up to you) or “I sembarang.” (I anything) or “You pilih ah.” (you choose) that it gets very frustrating for me especially. So when he makes a comment or a decision, it is serious business.
Hence, we Skype-d her again and I asked more detailed questions. My agent also drilled her with serious questions. And to cut the story short, we made our decision to hire her.
When we got home, I asked my husband why he chose her. His two main reasons were:
1) She completed her contract in Japan and 2 contracts with the same employer in Jordan, she has to be good, and,
2) She has a motherly feel to her.
Alhamdulillah, I guess Hubs does have a good judge in character after all? My current helper has been with us for almost 2 months now and her performance has been at a satisfactory level (for now and hopefully, for as long as she is with us). What’s most important is that she is great at gelling with my toddler. She handles his tantrums like a true pro. (Unlike my previous nightmare helper who NEVER entertains him or his tantrums like she is paid to do – SIGH.) She knows she has to approach him cautiously, so she takes her time with him. Naturally, he is starting to open up and welcome her and looks for her even when I’m at home – and that is a huge deal to me.
I’m hoping she maintains this way throughout, insya Allah. I’m really looking forward to going through at least the first year with her, and then we’ll see if she’s interested to extend her contract with me. Please keep me and my little family in your du’aas, my friends – may Allah bless you the same.
The Author: Dee Wong 